sleepless

Have you ever feel like frustrated?

Frustrated with your school-life.

Frustrated with your house-life.

Frustrated with your love-life.  every particular things in your life.

Yeah, I can’t write about love-life it.

Why?

I just can’t.

I’m already give up on that.

I’m afraid to fall again.

I don’t wanna make a conversation with any boy. Boys are like something I don’t want to know. Gorgeous but dangerous. Fantastic but pathetic. Adorable but miserable. I mean, they can change your life. Change your way of thinking only with their smiles, only with they send you sweet messages every night. So, I have decided to block everything about creatures called boys.

Go back to the topic about frustrated.

I write this post, because I’m frustrated right now last night.

You know? I’m attend an accelerated program in my school. And that makes me to try harder to graduated with good(great. -My dad) mark. Only in two years. Could you imagine that? I got much much pressure in my life.

It comes from my duty.

my tasks.

and especially,

My dad.

He wants me to become what he wants perfect his robot. When I was in junior high, I always got first rank in my class school, I became president in student council, and my national exam was almost perfect, I mean got 100 in math, 9 in other lesson, thats all really something right?

Yeah thats all only occurs when I was junior high girl.

But now, I have to face my senior high school only in 2 years. Plus the distance beetween my school and my house is ± 25 km. Plus my dad forbid me to live near my school. And that makes me to wake up at 4 a.m. every school-day, to go to school at 5 a.m. every school-day, if I don’t? I must be got stucked in traffic jam. By the way, my school starts at 7 a.m. every school-days.

I faced daily exam almost every day.

Homework? Every teacher always give it, always. don’t ask me.

 I spent my time on the way home ±4 hours in my school days, 2 hours at morning dawn, 2 hours at evening. And anyway I got home at 7 p.m.

And btw after I got home, my dad wants me to help him. It took almost an hour. I became his secretary since I’m just a junior-high-girl.

And then I had to teach my little brother, so now he can get the third rank in his class (and btw, he got #12 last semester).

And after all of that I had to sleep. Sleep is important to keep me healthy, and because I had to wake up at 4 a.m. Whoa, I’m like super girl isn’t it?

And so... when can I study with my self? Ask my dad. And the answer is null.

Haha congrats to me. Yeah, I study only at the school. I do my homework at the school. Remember? I’m in acceleration program.

Well, I don’t want to study at Sunday. If I do that, I think I can be super stress. By the way, every Sunday I improve my cooking skill.

And every Sunday, I read novels or wath movies and anime. It can makes me forget my whole pressure in two. Yeah, only in two, because it never gone from my mind. And by the way my dad hate it when I’m reading novel and watching movies. He wants me to study? I mean, you know what I feel, right?

But still, right now last night my dad said, “This semester, your rank have to increase.” or something like that. Kinda cruel isn’t it? Well, that’s my dad. I almost think that his hobby is give me pressure again and again. Just because in first semester I’m #8, and second semester I’m #6, and now... (Back to the begining of the paragraph). And that makes me wanna wrote this post.

Thanks.